The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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