One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
