I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I stole a fireplace last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
