So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
