It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
