Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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