When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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