First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
