i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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