the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Acid is not a monday night drug
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
