just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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