We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
