Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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