we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
