You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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