1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm really into asian looking animals
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
