Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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