i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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