"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
