im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
