New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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