Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize