dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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