where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
