girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
