I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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