weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
