some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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