I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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