I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
