and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
