I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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