i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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