So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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