4 words: hood of his car
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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