turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
