That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
