I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
