I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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