We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
