Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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