I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
