What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
