Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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