He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
