So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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