Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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