ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I supernannyed him into submission
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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