i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
