i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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