chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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