i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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