is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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