He just called me juicy booty via text message.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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