Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
