We're like a lot better than the average bears
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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