I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
