i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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