dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
