I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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