glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize