She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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