in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Buhtt sex?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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